Introversion, Not Isolation

So I came upon this neat little post today:

http://themetapicture.com/how-to-interact-with-the-introverted/

As an introvert myself, I think that it's pretty accurate in its representation. It's true that unlike extroverts, introverts lose rather than gain energy during social interactions. It's also true that because our energy is constantly being zapped away by social encounters, we require a certain amount of time to recharge after socializing (the recharge time depends on the length of the encounter). The last and most important thing I would like to point out from this post is that while introverts are often seen being by themselves, that doesn't mean we don't enjoy some company now and then. I think the author of the post puts it best when she said that interaction is expensive, and that introverts don't like to waste it on annoying/wasteful things (namely small talk for me).

I consider myself a fairly introverted person, therefore I always try to limit my small talks to a minimum because I really don't have that much energy to expend, and the sooner I get to the matter at hand the better. In other words, if you have something to say, just say it; no need to smooth it over with comments about the weather or how the day is going. However, I do realize that small talk has its place in the day to day interactions with others. For example it is often used to ease the transition from initial greetings to a topic of interest, and I understand that there are many who are uncomfortable with skipping that part of a conversation.

I think the post does a pretty great job in explaining that introverts are exhausted by social interactions by giving their energy, but what it doesn't explain is why we actually lose instead of absorb energy like the extroverts; so that's what I'm going to do here. From my personal perspective, engaging in successful conversation is actually a rather difficult task. There are so many things to be mindful of, especially if it's in person, and all the while you have to try your best to be charming and pleasant. For one thing, body language/facial expressions are often key to deciphering the intentions of the other person; often going hand in hand with that person's tone of voice. For example, someone might have said something seemingly offensive or otherwise negative, and you have to pay attention to how they look and sound to discern if maybe it was meant as a joke or sarcasm. Next there's eye contact. Stare at them too long and everyone gets uncomfortable. But if you keep looking away, you might be seen as rude or inattentive. I am aware of the 'look-at-forehead strategy, but somehow that has never worked for me; it still makes me feel uncomfortable. And then there's the actual content of the conversation. If your attention span is especially low or if the topic just isn't interesting to you, it can be rather hard to concentrate on what the other person is saying for a prolonged period of time. And to top it all off, you also have to effectively manage and choose your responses. You'll want to sound witty, but not overly smug or offensive. You want to be engaging and interesting, but if you overdo it you'll end up looking like someone who likes to hog all the attention. Conversely, if you don't say enough, people might perceive you as dull or boring.

Holding a conversation is really like driving a car in some ways. But instead of navigating through roads and traffic, you're navigating through the conversation. Often times the talking can become really fast paced, therefore reaction time is also important. As a driver you have to be mindful of a multitude of signs and traffic lights, and as a conversationalist you have to be mindful of a flurry of facial/body language as well as tones of voice and other social cues. So my question for the extrovert is this: How can you NOT be exhausted?

The Wonder of Words

For all intents and purposes, this can be seen as part of my introductory blog, but I decided that the topic itself was too important to not have an entire blog dedicated to it. So here it is.

As the title suggests, I wish to express my respect and fascination with the phenomenon known as words; or more broadly speaking, language. Many of us take this for granted, but out of all the diverse species that we know of, humans are the only ones capable of communicating through language; through the use of words. Of course, many animals are capable of communicating through sounds, such as the barking of dogs or the chirping of birds. However, when you really get down to it, there isn't a single species besides humans that can effectively communicate all our thoughts, feelings, concepts, ideas, or anything else really. Words, by their very nature, are symbolic. When we say something in any language, it represents something in the real world, and we are able to express its meaning to each other in a relatively quick way. It really is a profoundly powerful phenomenon unique to us. Imagine a world where language was never invented; all the words I have written here will be as meaningless to us as color is to a blind man.

I have come upon this realization years ago and it is in large part due to this realization that I have decided to become a writer (and blogger). As a member of the only species on the planet capable of such a powerful form of communication, I feel a certain obligation to use it to its fullest potential. I'm not a man of many talents, but I have discovered that I do have a certain way with words, especially when I'm able to write them down. Therefore I have made it my life's mission to refine this talent, to use it to make this world a better place however I can. Hopefully in the course of my blogging and writing I will be able to help others through comfort, encouragement, inspiration, and however else they may be of service to the world.

Happy S.A.D.!

Hello everyone, I'm sure we all know what today is. That's right, it's Valentine's Day. But just as importantly, or perhaps even more so, it is also Singles Awareness/Appreciation Day or S.A.D. The reason I'm saying that it might be more important than even Valentine's Day is not to undermine romantic love and all its goodness, but for the simple fact that there are a lot more single people out there than there are couples. And as one of those single people, I feel like I should remind those of us that have a bitter attitude towards love or those who have simply given up that it really isn't so bad to be single. I know what you're thinking, but hear me out.

Maybe you've (recently) gone through a break up, or had feelings for someone who didn't reciprocate them, or maybe it's just that you've never really had much luck in this particular department; but the fact remains that there are a lot of us out there who feel less than overjoyed when Valentine's Day comes around. It's the one day of the year that encourages (happy) couples to display their happiness and rub it in your face with all those flowers and chocolates and what not; at least...that's what it seems like to those of us who feel miserably lonely on this one day of the year. But guess what? Love can be found in many places other than in a significant other, just not the romantic kind. I'm talking about with your family, friends, and even yourself. I mean, romantic love is nice and all, what with all those butterflies in your stomach and that emotional high whenever you're together with that special someone, but there's also a flip side. For every emotional up there has got to be an emotional down, it's just humanly impossible to remain at such a consistently high level of happiness (a.k.a. the period known as the honeymoon phase for couples), and in the case of a break up, the damage can be quite severe. Now you might be thinking: there's also emotional ups and downs with family and friends, so we're not really that much better off. Yes there are times when we argue with family and friends, and sometimes we might even have a falling out with one of them. But the thing about family is that, you can't choose which family you're born into (something my dad told me when I was a kid); you've only got the one. So no matter how bad the falling out or how much you think you might hate that person, eventually things will work themselves out because they have to; that's what a family does. Friends are a different matter; you might really end up losing that friend for good. But the thing about friends is that you have more than the one, so even if you do lose one the damage wouldn't be as terrible as losing your partner; and chances are if that friend didn't stick around, didn't put in the effort, then they probably weren't that good a friend to begin with. So yes there are still ups and downs with family and friends, but compared to those of a romantic relationship, things feel pretty stable. Family and some select friends are permanent and always there for you, but the person you're dating may not be.

I mentioned earlier that love can also be found with yourself, and I meant it. A little self love now and then is a tremendously good thing to have. I'm not saying worship yourself to the point of narcissism, but a healthy dose of self love can go a long way. So let yourself take a break once in a while, buy yourself something nice if it catches your eye, or just treat yourself to an especially nice meal every now and then; because you know you deserve it.

And with all that said, I would like to wish all my single friends out there a very happy Singles Appreciation Day. Make sure to celebrate with other singles if you haven't this year!

Welcome!

Hello and welcome to Keith's Corner, my designated little spot in the vastness of the internet. It is here that I will be blogging about my life, life in general, and any other topics of interest that come to mind. But first, I suppose some introductions are in order.

As you can tell (hopefully) from my blog title, my name's Keith. What can I tell you about myself? Well I'm just your average Chinese-Canadian university student trying to survive school and life. That, and I have a special love for words.

Anyhow, I'm currently in the middle of my (fingers crossed) last semester of university at SFU, with a major in philosophy and minor in psychology. Many of you probably don't associate philosophy with any pleasant memories or thoughts, and I won't blame you; it's not for everyone. But for those of you who don't mind the at times tedious reading and confusing language, philosophy is actually a pretty delightful discipline in that it opens the doors to many interesting (but mostly unanswerable) questions. I'll bet that most if not all of you have thought about questions such as these at one time or another: Is there a god? How do we know? How do we know that we know anything? What actually exists in the world or what is real (Matrix reference)? Some of these questions even have real life applications, such as most questions involving ethics (e.g. is it ethical to sacrifice one hostage to save the other five?)

Clearly these questions hold great interest for most of us, and philosophy allows us to explore these themes in depth. Not surprisingly, many of these have no right answer, or at least not one that everyone can agree on. But that doesn't mean exercising philosophy is pointless. By engaging in these topics, especially with others, you come to appreciate that many problems can be approached from many different ways, and that each point of view has its own merits, even if we do not agree with the view as a whole.

I was planning on making this introduction short but it looks like I've already gone over my limit. It definitely feels good to be writing (or typing) again and I hope you enjoy reading it as well. Don't be afraid to leave a comment or two if you're so inclined. Until next time.